Getting to know somebody online is just the same as it is in person – totally exhilarating. The only difference is that you haven’t spent any time together yet. The urge to change that is natural, but how long should you wait? Join us as we explain.
Online dating is lots of fun but sometimes it’s hard to know how and when to take your online relationship into the offline world. The safety net of a computer screen can be difficult to give up but the truth is, once a relationship becomes too established in cyber space, it can become increasingly difficult to transfer to reality.
You need to balance getting to know someone online to working out if a real-world attraction exists. This can be especially difficult if you’re coming to online dating later in life or after a longstanding relationship. So, the million-dollar question becomes – just how long should you wait before you meet up outside of the web?
Yes – some researchers have actually sat down and studied this very modern problem. In a survey of over 400 online daters, the results showed that the longer the waiting period before meeting in person, the more likely daters were to feel let down. This could be because we build a potential partner up in our head to such an extent over a long period of time that the real-life image can never live up to the fantasy. The very scientific result was that the ideal window for an online meet up was between 17 and 23 days.
Some people take a much more pragmatic approach to dating, looking to meet up with a match almost as soon as they make a connection. There is a certain logic to this approach. It allows you to establish whether there is any elusive ‘spark’ without wasting time on hundreds of messages backwards and forwards. This technique may leave some over 40 daters feeling cold though, turning the process of dating into something of a conveyor belt. If you’re keen to meet up quickly, choose a brief public date (like a coffee shop) to ensure you are both safe and able to get a reading in a no pressure environment.
For others, an in-person date is out of the question until there is some level of emotional rapport. It might be that you want to learn a little about their background, or even have them make you laugh before you set out on a date. This approach makes sense for a lot of people, but be wary of turning a real-life possibility into an online fantasy.
Is there a cut-off point? Probably – if you haven’t met after a month (bar major geographical or logistical issues) you probably never will. It should also ring alarm bells if your online love interest seemingly has no intention of meeting up or repeatedly brushes off the subject. Simply, use your common sense – if it feels like it isn’t ever going to happen, move on.
When you choose to meet a date you have connected with online will depend on your own comfort levels and dating experience. Listen to your heart, use your common sense and work out a meeting schedule that makes you both feel comfortable.
If you’re looking to start mature dating over 40, look no further. Here at Over 40 Dating, we have over a million singles just like you – waiting to connect. Take your first step to romance, today.