Are you struggling to find your perfect match? Perhaps you have been dating for a while and still aren’t feeling the love. For some of us meeting someone and finding that elusive spark takes longer than others. And that’s fine – everyone should go at their own pace. But could you be sabotaging your own dating luck?
Dating, like everything else we do, can become a series of habits and some are more positive than others. Explore 5 of the most toxic dating habits below and see if any sound familiar.
You are a perfectionist.
In many aspects of your life being a perfectionist can be a very positive thing but when it comes to dating it can definitely be toxic. You probably have a long list of dating ‘wants’ and an image in your head that no one ever seems to live up to. Forget the list and forget your type. Think about the three things you really want and put everything else aside. It will help you cast your dating net a little wider.
You over analyse everything.
Why did they say that? Why haven’t they called? Why did they look at me that way? If questions like this run through your head often then you could be an over analyser. You dissect every little piece of the date and potential partners until there is nothing left. Either they get freaked out by the intensity or you talk yourself out of any possible partnership. Try to relax and take things step by step.
Your drinking too much.
On a date, it is natural to feel nervous and it’s very easy for one glass of wine to turn into a bottle or more. Drinking too much on a date is a sure-fire road to disaster. You lose your ability to judge the situation or other person correctly and in a worst-case scenario, you could put yourself in real danger. Leave this toxic behaviour well alone and be mindful of how much alcohol you consume on a date.
You’re playing games.
Dating isn’t a game. It’s a way of connecting with people and trying to find that one connection that really means something to you. Trying to impose rules or play games can break down what could be an important relationship. Forget taking 24 hours to return a call or playing hard to get. Be yourself and relax a little.
You focus on you.
One of the most toxic dating behaviours is to spend the whole night talking about yourself. Try to avoid conversations that focus on ‘I’ and instead ask questions and help your date to open up about themselves. You will be surprised at how much this improves the flow and quality of the conversation. It might even lead to that elusive second date!
Kick your toxic dating behaviours to the curb and start to date better.
Are you ready to put your dating skills to the test? Sign up to over 40s dating today and you could just meet your match.