things to know first

Three Critical Questions Before you Try Online Dating

The allure of online dating is an obvious one; it’s a fun, easy and friendly way to reintroduce yourself to the dating world. As singles over 60, online dating presents a life changing opportunity to take love into our own hands again and meet the kind of person who can make our lives sparkle once again, but are you ready?

Here’s three questions to test yourself with:

Have you recovered from your last relationship?

If you’re still holding onto your past, you won’t be able to be hopeful for the future, and dating without hope is a dead-end road. Divorce, separation or death of a spouse is traumatic experience of which you need time to properly cope and heal. If you’re still holding on the feelings of hurt, disappointment and sadness and find difficulty completely the mundane tasks of everyday life, you probably haven’t recovered and still need time.

But how do you move on? Well, if you can’t re-examine your past by yourself and find some way to come to terms with it or let it go, then you might consider therapy. Sometimes a third, un-judgmental party can help guide you through that healing process.

 Are you resentful toward the opposite sex?

What is resentment exactly? Resentment is the feeling of displeasure or indignation at an act, remark or person, which causes feelings of displeasure. If you’re resentful towards your last spouse, you won’t be open and excepting of the love a new partner can offer. Admitting to yourself that you still harbour some resentment toward your ex or the opposite sex in general is the first step in overcoming it.

You’ll also want to work on your self-esteem and self-worth and learn to turn inward only for approval and recognition. Tap into your support network, too. They’ll help you see when you slip into your resentful attitudes. By freeing yourself of resentment, you’ll be more open to dating and the possibility of building a healthy new relationship.

Are you physically active and mentally engaged?

Your level of physical activity and engagement in the world that surrounds you is a tell-tale sign of dating readiness. Why? Because it means that you’re present in today and not held back by the past. Aside from that fact that physical activity elevates endorphin levels that increase the feeling of happiness, the pursuit of interests and recreational activities prepares you for connecting with other people, particularly future mates.

Imagine going on a date with someone who can’t articulate one single thing that interests them. How could you possible engage in a conversation with such an individual? Doing activities that excite you add value to your life and make you feel good about yourself. And if you don’t feel good about yourself, there’s a slim chance that someone else will feel good about you.

It is important to work through all of the hang-ups about your past before you move onto the future. By allowing yourself time to recover from divorce or loss, letting go of resentment and engaging in the present, you’ll find yourself more than ready to get back into the dating scene and up your chances of finding a love that is both rewarding and true.


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