Finding yourself single over 40 can be painful for anyone, but there’s no pain like trying to pull yourself together after losing somebody. Bereavement can tear a life in two, but it’s not the end, and life must go on.
Losing somebody we love is without a doubt one of the hardest things we have to face in our lives. The pain is real, raw and can last for years. Eventually, however, there comes a time when we feel like we might be ready to try to find love once again.
Those feelings can themselves bring a tremendous amount of guilt, but you as important as that relationship will always be to you, you cannot let it define the rest of your days. In this guide, we’re going to share our thoughts on how you can life and love after losing somebody important.
Coming to terms with romance again
Finding new love is one of life’s greatest thrills, but for many of us who’ve suffered bereavement, it can be an immensely complex period. We’ll always have a place in our heart for the special ones who are no longer with us, but we still have the desire for company and physical love.
Often, we have unresolved feelings about the death of our partners which can crop up in our new relationship, potentially putting our new relationship at risk.
So, how can we come to terms with romance again? The answer is, it’s not easy, but there will come a time when you feel like it’s what your partner would have wanted. After all, would you have wanted them to remain alone for the rest of their lives if you passed on first?
No amount of rationalisation can help these feelings come any faster, but when they do arrive, don’t feel guilty for pursuing them. You have a life, and you can live it.
Getting back on the horse
Online dating is an extremely popular way for senior singles and widows to reintroduce themselves to the world of dating, thanks to the fact that you can involve yourself in it as much or as little as you need. However, that doesn’t mean that you’re completely shielded from the judgement of those around you.
Many of us who join an online dating website come up against the feelings of those around us. In-laws, children, family and friends might all have opinions on you re-joining the dating scene.
It can be hard for these parties to come to terms with the fact that you’re turning the page and trying to find love again. It’s important to remember that the feelings of these people do matter, and you shouldn’t just brush them aside. With that said, however, you cannot let their feelings override your own. Sit down with them and explain how you feel, they’ll almost certainly understand.
When is the right time?
Simply, the right time is when you feel it is. No matter how soon after you’ve lost somebody, if you feel like you’re ready to move on and enjoy a healthy relationship, you should go for it. With mature online dating, you’ll find that there’s less pressure, and you can move forward at your own pace. J
